I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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