Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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