I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The beers last night were like the tears from god
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
