One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
