it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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