There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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