we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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