Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
