I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize