Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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