bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Randomize
