I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
