It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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