brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
