My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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