It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
