In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
