i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
