I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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