i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
