a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
