I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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