I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
