We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
