Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
