i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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