Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
