omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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