yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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