Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
