Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
