Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
