i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
