now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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