I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Im part way to drunk.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
