Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
