When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i need some magic done to my vagina
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
