the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
