Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He passed out mid-signature
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
the liver wants what the liver wants
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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