I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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