It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
false alarm. still invincible.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Randomize
