remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i've created a new STD.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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