so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
