Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
