how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
