More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
