I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
