I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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