I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
