I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
